Hiring a CEO to Run Things (and Get Life Back)

And the guy was like, I wouldn't put a label on it. Which I think was sort of him saying, yes. What about your wife?

Did she notice a change after. After when she had pressed you to. To not go up as often and to say, there's gotta be a change?

But, yeah, I think as sales continued to not rebound, my actual sort of mental, emotional hopelessness had gotten, like, worse. Like, I just. I remember truly getting to the point where I'm like, we couldn't sell again today for the load balance that I have. And that felt like the.

Where is the end of the tunnel? I'm not seeing it. Um, so that was just a hard period. But my schedule sort of stayed the same again.

It had gotten a little better, so that part was better. But it was just emotionally very taxing. Mentally very taxing.

I'd gotten a lot more vulnerable with friends during this time. Like, I remember going to meet a friend for drinks and I'd, like, end up crying. And I've always sort of prided myself as a sensitive, emotional, thoughtful guy who can cry when other people cry and do that.

But again, through all the therapy, through all the whatever, it was an interesting process of working through. Oh, I'm the one that's unwell right now and not in control of my emotions. And I'm showing my feelings in a way that I is a little bit past the emotionally aware image I like to give off.

So it was just like an interesting emotional journey here. I'm working through a lot of people pleasing with my therapist, as I, again, couldn't even tell my employees that I wasn't going to go up every day because that felt too scary to me. Because in the people pleasing to your point earlier of when did I know I need a fireheart?

There was still, it always felt very intertwined with legitimate concerns about retention and about employee satisfaction that I think brought up things about people pleasing that I'm not sure I realized I wrestled with until I had a bunch of people that didn't like me and I really relied on them.

And it just brought up something that I didn't have to deal with the first 28 years of my life when people usually liked me and I was usually successful in whatever I was doing. Did it get to the point where you felt like people didn't like you. At the business that might be too strong?

Again, I think, actually, in general, they really liked me. I think there was Points of they're not always going to be happy with me, which is a very basic thing for a boss. But was a challenge for me at the time where I think throughout my life I just again, been a great, high achieving employee where people liked me, friends liked me, I'm engaging whatever.